see you tomorrow. up next on an all new "jimmy kimmel live." >> there you are in bed with the lions. >> and kerry washington. >> if there's anything going on between anybody, it's you and i. >> really? >> "dancing with the stars," pamela anderson and music from alanis

>> jimmy: hey guillermo, what are you doing? >> guillermo: i'm nominating myself for the toyota hall of fame: legends of fantasy football, where regular people like me can be fantasy football heroes. >> jimmy: i play fantasy football too! >> guillermo: me too! and i just know i'm gonna be inducted into the toyota hall of fame, hall of fame, hall of fame, hall of fame. it's such an honor to be inducted. i'd like to thank my mommy, my doggies pepe and paco, my toyota prius, and especially jimmy kimmel, because i kick his ass in fantasy football. he is a weak little punk and i eat him for lunch every week!

and i would also like to thank my mother. thank you everybody! >> jimmy: that was a very powerful dream sequence, i'm deeply moved. >> guillermo: you're welcome. >> announcer: toyota hall of fame legends of fantasy football. glory is calling, will you answer? visit toyotahalloffame.com "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with melanie griffith, kerry washington, the first castoff from "dancing with the stars" and music from alanis morissette. i loved it. think? why? 'cause it's a toyota, of course! i want a car that's gonna last me for a little while. ♪ i like the bells and whistles. that's my favorite part about the car. i like the navigation. i like the entune. and it's fast. [ male announcer ] see ja ne't's story and more

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a kraft homestyle mac & cheese bowl. it's yours for a mere 30 minutes of a pg-13 movie. [ alien noises ] [ male announcer ] kraft macaroni & cheese. you know you love it. >> announcer: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight melanie griffith. from "scandal" kerry washington. from "dancing with the stars" pamela anderson.

and music from alanis morissette. with cleto and the cletones. and now, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ >> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. for everything, really. everybody all right? you guys feel okay tonight? good, good. i'm glad we got that out of the way. i hope you're having a good fall so far. do you know it's fall? fall came in on saturday. although you wouldn't know it here in hollywood. it's still hot. the leaves don't fall off the trees in four months. our kids jump in discarded head

shots -- you get a lot of paper cuts but it's fun. look, i got a little piece of john stamos. enjoy. [ applause ] we also have a new season of "dancing with the stars" this week. it was the first elimination night for "dancing with the stars" all-stars tonight. all of the dancing stars from previous seasons are on the show. it's the best of the not very best. tonight's elimination was pamela anderson. she had the lowest score, 17 out of 30. but these one of stars that are actually not a star on the show. look at that. i couldn't do that. if i did that, i could never walk again. right now pamela and her dancing partner tristan. please welcome the first

all-stars to fall victim to the guillotine. pamela anderson and tristan macmanus. you guys seem very disappointed? what happened? >> we got sent home. >> we got sent home. we're not going home. we're going out. >> jimmy: i like that, you should occupy "dancing with the stars." you should forcibly stay there whether you like it or not. >> we can't. no we're leaving here, we're just not going home. >> jimmy: were you surprised by this in. >> no, we got the lowest scores. and, you know, that was a subtle hint, possibly. >> jimmy: pam, i got the sense from -- >> all these guys so good. i don't know what the heck is going on i'm no dancer. >> jimmy: there are a lot of good dancers. i got the sense what you said that you didn't rehearse enough

going into this. is that true? >> i traveled a lot last month. tristan was supposed to come with me. and i didn't send him with me. we didn't get as much rehearsal as everybody, so i think -- >> jimmy: what happened, tristan, are we attached to a little scandal -- >> why didn't they send you along? is it because you're a uponer and you're not allowed to travel the country? >> maybe that's what it is. they thought if i left i wouldn't get back in. i was writing up the petitions. it was what it was. i mean, i would have loved to have gone away with her. >> jimmy: perhaps there's still time on your personal -- >> mexico next week. >> jimmy: yeah. do you think you'll ever dance -- >> we're not going to stop dancing together. >> is that right? >> jimmy: i think we may have made a love connection at the very least. >> all bets are off.

>> jimmy: funny. i think we have more relationships fr"dancing with t stars" than we do "bachelor" and "bachelorette." >> jimmy: at least you can go back to wearing your skimpy clothe, pam. >> i'm keeping this. >> jimmy: it's a travesty. somebody had to go. somebody had to go, i guess you're the ones. you have each other. that's the important thing. pamela anderson and tristan macmanus, everyone. always fun to -- [ applause ] >> jimmy: and a lot of show, people are happy who just won something. not here, i get the losers. well, you picked a good night to be here. it's lady's night. not only are melanie griffith and kerry washington here, we have music from alanis

morissette. i'm grateful that alanis is filling in for green day was supposed to be our musical guest but over the weekend their lead singer did this -- [ bleep ] give me a break. one man left [ bleep ], you're going to give me one minute. look at that [ bleep ] sign right there. one minute. you got to be [ bleep ] kidding me. [ bleep ] kidding me. what the [ bleep ] i'm not justin bieber you [ bleep ]. i got one minute, one minute left. now i got nothing left. now i got nothing left. let me show you what one

[ bleep ] minute [ bleep ] means. one minute. god [ bleep ] love you all. we'll be back. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and then he went straight into rehab. i know, most people are excited when they get to leave work early. i don't understand. that's why they're not here. we had a special telteleprompte set up for him. in all seriousness. i love green day. that's -- one of, if not the best bands we've ever had here. i wish them the best. but tonight alanis will be performing this song "basket

case" in tribute to the absent green day. stick around for that. for real. this morning, president obama and his wife, the first lady, made an appearance on "the view." some people criticizing the president for doing the view in new york instead of meeting with rulers from the u.n. i find it a great opportunity on where the president stands on miley cyrus' new hair cut. if you get a word in edge wise on "the view" you should have no trouble with mitt romney. meanwhile the president got another celebrity endorsement during the concert in washington, d.c. madonna told the crowd they should vote for obama in a madonna like way. vote [ bleep ] for obama, okay? all right.

we have -- >> i'm mitt romney and a prove this message. >> jimmy: might be doing a better job for romney. i don't know what she's talking about. why does madonna care about our presidential election? isn't she british? obama wrapped endorsements from snoop lion, jay-z and madonna. if he doesn't get elected he can put out a duets album. those watching "monday night football," there was a controversial call at the packers/seahawks game. there's a rumbling of anger. final second of the game, the seahawks threw a hail mary pass that was intersented by the packers. well, this is it. >> to the end zone. it is -- who did they give it

to? they get away with one of the most blatant pass interference calls i've ever seen. m.d. jennings intercepts the pass and tate is walking out here -- >> referee: the call on the field stand, touchdown. >> seahawks win in the most bizarre finish you'll ever see. >> jimmy: so the packers lost the game thanks to that call, but -- people who don't care about justice, i guess. the replacement referees filling in for the regular refs locked out right now. this is what the regular refs have been waiting for. if i was them today, whatever i was asking for i would double it. this officiating cautioned a huge commotion on twitter which inspired a game we played on hollywood boulevard. my cousin sal showed the play to people walking by, and we play this.

are you smarter than a replacement ref. >> are you smarter than a replacement ref? >> all right. >> put this on. take a look and let me know what you think, all right? >> green bay's ball. >> interception. you are smarter than a replacement ref. >> i saw both sides had there hands on the ball as far as they can tell. . you are not smrter than a replacement ref. sorry. you need bigger glasses, i think. >> and my replacement arachnid. this should help. >> ah! >> what do you think? interception or reception? >> what? >> spider. >> man, what the [ bleep ]. >> hey, don't do that.

hey. >> don't do that, cous. no. no. >> you afraid of fake spiders. >> that's not good, right? >> the right [ bleep ] get that [ bleep ] out of here, cous. >> i don't know what we did there, but people are scared of spiders. the highly anticipated iphone 5 went on sale friday. any of you have it? any of you buy it yet? one person? i know, he's a little embarrassed, right? the the first three days apple sold 5 million of them. if you try to order one from the apple website you have to wait three to four weeks after which point they need to get ready to release the iphone 6. one from the neat things is an iphone camera.

you know those profile photos women take of themselves that look like they're looking offcamera of someone. you know what i'm talking about. photos like this, with the panoramic camera, you can now see that you are in fact smiling and batting your eyes at no one. apple also made big improvements to their personal voice assistant siri. siri is less like a personal assistant and more like a mother figure. >> text kevin i'll be late. >> who is this kevin person you're texting? >> kevin loveless. >> i can't know you were still sleeping. here's a picture of him with two naked women at coachella. where did you get that picture? >> i see all your pictures.

>> strop strolling my facebook. >> please tell me you're not sleeping with skull tattoos. you have to worry about spbs -- >> did you read that article i sent you? 47% of women have unwanted pregnancies. oh, yeah. chips will help. that will get you back to your high school weight. >> momi, you're a bitch! >> jimmy: on the show, kerry washington is here with us. we have music from alanis morissette. and we'll be right back with melanie griffith, so stick around! ♪ ♪

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>> jimmy: welcome back tonight on the program. the show is called scandal. second season begins thursday night. kerry washington is with us. and then with music from this album. it's called havoc and bright lights. alanis morissette, and you can see her live on tour this fall, including tomorrow night at the fox theater in pomona in california. she'll do a green day song for us. tomorrow night we'll by joined by keanu reeves. and tony bennette. first guest tonight,

our first guest is an oscar nominated, golden globe-winning actress who, alongside husband antonio banderas, make up one of hollywood's most formidable animated cat-slash-human power couples. she has a recurring role on the third season of "raising hope" - it premieres next tuesday at 8 on fox, please welcome melanie griffith. ♪ >> jimmy: you look fantastic. thanks for coming. it's a pleasure of meeting your daughter, dakota a couple weeks ago. she was here on show making fun of you. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: she was making fun of you tweeting. this is something you do. you retweet yourself. you use it as e-mail thinking you're sending personal messages, people don't necessarily respond. >> she should not say things like that. because i have 53,000 followers and i think she's got about ten

right now. >> jimmy: is she tweeting? >> she is now. as of today, it' it's @odakotajohnson. >> do you think she followed your lead? >> yes. >> jimmy: interesting. that's kind of a weird thing when you get into technology after your mom has already dipped her toe in it. >> i'm sure she'll do it better than me right off the bad. >> jimmy: what is the tattoo? oh, antonio? is that real or a cracker jack ones. >> i was going to put one here and draw it on, that says obama. >>. >> jimmy: is that right? i thought you were going to say jimmy. >> i have other tattoos on other parts of my body.

>> jimmy: let's not. if i was going to do jimmy, i was going do it somewhere else. >> that's night. i think. >> jimmy: how many kids do you have? >> four. three that i gave birth to and my stepson jesse that i adore -- >> jimmy: got you and like in a way than your other kids, right? >> yes and no. sometimes. >> jimmy: you have a daughter that's younger than dakota who just turned 16. >> is she driving now? did she start right away? >> she doesn't have her license. she gets it october 10th. >> jimmy: have you been teaching her to drive? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you have? dakota said she learned how to drive in a golf cart from a guy on the set of nash bridges. >> yeah. >> jimmy: are you a good driver yourself? >> i am, a good fast driver. >> jimmy: did your mom teach you

how to drive? >> actually, yes, my mom taught me how to drive when i was 12 years old. this was a long time ago. l.a. was different. >> jimmy: 12 years old? >> wow. >> jimmy: that's very young. it was good for her and my stepfather. then they didn't have to get up and take me to school i could just drive. >>. >> jimmy: is that right? >> it's true. what grade are you in? like eighth grade? >> yeah, seventh or eighth grade. >> jimmy: you must have been the coolest kid in school. >> that's when i started to drive. i drove to school when i was 14. >> jimmy: we had a whole thing that i didn't say my correct name if i got all ped over. my stepfather, one of my mom's husbands was not alive anymore, so i can say this. he was a bit of a criminal. he said to me, whatever you do, don't say your name is melanie griffith. say it's melanie marshall and

you'll be fine. >> jimmy: really? it was your introduction to acting. >> it was. >> jimmy: did you ever have to use that to the police? >> i did. >> jimmy: did you tell them a different name? >> no, i got a ticket. then i had to appear in front of the judge -- >> jimmy: as melanie marshall? >> i got a big slap on my wrist. >> jimmy: somewhere out there some kid named melanie marshall is doing time. >> she never got her lie lens. >> jimmy: your mother is tippy hedron. she has a sanctuary for big cats. these were photos in life magazine. is that where -- >> this is a real picture from -- >> jimmy: this is after you started driving, i guess, you were a little kid. >> i was 13 there. >> jimmy: in the pool with a

lion. >> yes. meal? what kind of a name is that for a lion. neil is a mattress salesman. he looks to be attacking on you a little bit. . he's chewing on my leg a little bit. >> jimmy: when a lion chews on your leg, that's a bad thing? >> yes. >> jimmy: you didn't mind? >> i fell in the pool, so he didn't get me. >> jimmy: now he's gone from biting your leg to biting your neck. >> where did you get he's? >> jimmy: in a magazine. >> it's like archives you get to for people in hollywood. >> jimmy: if anybody of any age has pictures of being eaten by a

lion, i'm going to show it. there you are, in bed with a lion. >> yeah. it really goes that way. >> jimmy: oh, is that right? there you go. why did the lion get in bed with you? just for the photo shoot or was this a regular occurrence? >> this was kind af regular occurrence. i have many stories. >> jimmy: i mean, this is -- if i woke up like this, i would never stop screaming. i'd still be screaming to this day. do you have pets like this now? >> no, not now. but my mom does. >> jimmy: your mom still has this going on? >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you have regular pets or were they all eaten by the lions? >> no, we did manage to save some of them. >> jimmy: were your friends allowed to come and sleep over your house? >> yeah. >> jimmy: they were?

>> yeah. >> jimmy: because if they were my kids i would say tell her to come sleep over here. >> maybe that's why i didn't have too many friends. >> jimmy: you didn't even use a fake name. that is something else. are you aware, when you grow up with certain circumstances, i grew up in las vegas, i thought it was fun. >> wow. >> jimmy: really? you grew up in significaegfried roy's den. we'll take a wiquick break. melanie griffith is here with us. we'll be right back. jack, you're a little boring.

boring. boring. [ jack ] after lauren broke up with me,

i went to the citi private pass page and decided to be...not boring. that's how i met marilyn... giada... really good. yes! [ jack ] ...and alicia. ♪ this girl is on fire [ male announcer ] use any citi card to get the benefits of private pass. more concerts, more events, more experiences. [ jack ] hey, who's boring now? [ male announcer ] get more access with the citi card. [ crowd cheering, mouse clicks ]

welcome back. we're talking about your mom, tippi hedren. it's typical. in the episode. it starts out, your mom is dead in the episode. i don't want to give too much away. but there's a will-reading on videotape -- >> and she's very funny. >> jimmy: she is. but the weirdest thing was when i walked on the set i was asked where my mom was. they knew she was shooting. they said oh she's over there in the coffin. she was laying there in the coffin. >> jimmy: that's what i was

thinking was really weird. >> it was really word. when i went over there to see her. after cloris leechman planted a big kiss on her mouth. cloris is awesome. she's wonderful -- >> jimmy: very funny. you don't know? she seems uncontrollable in any way. >> she doesn't have a filter. no filter. no real kind of -- doesn't care, really what anybody thinks or anything, she's fabulous. did your mom know her well? >> they got to know each other really well. >> jimmy: okay. that is even weirder. but the weird thing, going over to see mom and she's laying in a coffin. i was kissing her and talking to her, then i realized she was in a coffin and it was sort of creepy, thus i was reminded of alfred hitchcock when i was a little girl, gave me' present

that was like a coffin box for christmas. i opened it up and in it was a doll of my mother from "the birds" dressed in the green suit. with the hair in the twist, with my mom's face. it was made by the studio. >> jimmy: that's about the worst gift -- >> can you imagine the psychological effect? >> jimmy: why would he do that? >> because he was really weird. he was. he was a really weird guy. >> jimmy: that's weird. there's a movie about mom coming on hbo, i think next month called "the girl." >> jimmy: that's got to be good. >> sienna miller is playing my mom. >> jimmy: your mom must be crazy if there's a whole story about her and the lions aren't even

mentioned. how is antonio? he's got to be fun. how what is the primary language you use in the house? you must understand what he's saying all of the time? >> no, i don't. i don't think he understands what i'm saying either. >> jimmy: is that a secret to a long marriage? you've been together for a long time. >> we've been together for almost 18 years. >> jimmy: do you speak spanish? >> i try. >> jimmy: do you speak hybrid of spanish and english? >> i speak bad spanish and he speaks bad english and somewhere we meet in the middle and everything is good. >> jimmy: if you ever need a translator, guillermo is fluent in both languages and he would be happy to fill you in. s it it's great to have you. you get to see three generations on fox. >> and tonight dakota's show is

on tonight "ben and kate." >> jimmy: we'll be right back with kerry washington. melanie gr melanie griffith the third season of "raising hope" premieres next tuesday on fox. some places i go really aggravate my allergies.

so i get claritin clear. this is all bayberry. bayberry pollen. very allergenic. non-drowsy claritin relieves my worst symptoms only claritin is proven to keep me as alert and focused as someone without allergies. live claritin clear. you've got to be kidding me. sweetie, help us settle this. i say this and this is called southern hospitality. well, i call it the clean getaway. [ scoffs ] you're both wrong. it's the freshy fresh. everyone knows that. i didn't know that. oh yeah, that's what they're saying now. [ female announcer ] nothing leaves you feeling cleaner and fres on tonight "ben and kate." bring future guy back. watch him build a tft display like nothing you've ever seen. get him to explain exactly what that is. the thin-film transistor display --

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>> jimmy: hi, there. alanis morissette will be with us like denzel and george before her, our next guest is a very talented washington. a new season of her popular show "scandal" returns to abc thursday at 10pm. please welcome kerry washington. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm really great. congratulations. >> jimmy: on what? >> on the emmys. you did a great job. really great job. >> you did a great job too. you did a great job at the emmys. >> i did a great job despite you. >> jimmy: why do you sayta? >> you were giving normal expected inpro trdiana throw dur everybody else and you said this really nice thing and it totally flummoxed me. >> jimmy: so i threw you? >> i don't expect you to be sweet and kind. >> jimmy: no one does. every once in a while i throw it out and drive people crazy. >> that is the actor in me. >> jimmy: you did very well at the democratic national convention too. to be asked to do that -- you

had to think twice about that before you decided to do it, right? >> it's such a huge manor that i didn't really had v to think twice about doing it. i had to figure out how to do it -- i was so nervous. really nervous. >> jimmy: do you think clint eastwood gave his speech at the republican national convention, did it make it easier or harder? all you had to do is not talk to a futon or something. >> i knew that this was a huge opportunity and i knew there was a lot of talk because of that about celebrities speaking. but, for me, i don't participate in politics as a celebrity. i participate because i'm an american and i feel we're really lucky we live in a country where we have free speech. so i spoke as a woman. i spoke as a person of color, i spoke as a person who wouldn't have been able to afford college

without federal grants. i spoke as a grand daughter of immigrants. i spoke as a person who believes that i want to support the candidates who believes in all of america not just some of america. >> jimmy: well, you did a great job. you did a great job. it piled on afterwars. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: what's going on with you and tracey morgan? >> i heard i said something at the emmys, but i didn't hear. >> jimmy: we have the videotape of what hand. this is as he was being carried off the stage. okay. we have our situation resolved. everybody should be fine from here. >> just exhaustion. >> tell kerry washington i'm all right. >> jimmy: he's all right. i was laughing so hard at your brilliant twitter stunt. it was great. i actually didn't mr him say that. but i had a cousin in new york.

my cousin john texted me asking me what is going on. i just got a cnn alert that tracy passed out and said your name. your stunt made it to cnn and made it back to me in l.a. nothing is going on with tracey and i. but we made a film together called "little men." >> the national enquirer, they skoved a list that michelle obama made. and they discovered a list that were not allowed at the white house, because they were too flirty with the president. they had your name on the top of that list. >> yeah. >> jimmy: this is a good segue for my show called "the fixer." my character is incredibly powerful, and has a slightly

inappropriate relationship with the president of the united states. i have the feeling that the reporters were going through and got caught up in my tv show and got con us fooed with the reality tv show. >> the president on that show loo looks nothing like our show. >> the president on our show is white and republican and all of that. and they do get hot and heavy -- >> jimmy: is there a problem with you and michelle obama? >> no i'm on a committee -- >> jimmy: that's how i would do it if i was here. keep your enemies close. i would keep you close. put you on committees. >> i can't stay out of the white house if i'm meeting at the white house. >> jimmy: there would be a lot of checks and balances. scarlett johansson was number two on that list. she is up to something. isn't she? >> the first couple is so in love. >> jimmy: why would the

"enquirer" print it if it wasn't true. >> sure, sure. that's where i get our news. >> jimmy: so i'm going to be on your show. >> he's going to be on our show. >> jimmy: it was a role i was literally born to play -- >> you're playing yourself. >> jimmy: it's very good. have you seen it? it's a nice little clip of you. good stuff. we're spending a lot of time together lately. announcing the nominations together for the emi ms. >>. >> jimmy: we did do that. if anything is going on with anybody, it's you and i. >> i think we have a picture on that. that's when we presented together at the emmy announcement. >> jimm >> i got up at 3:00 in the morning, and you clearly rolled out of bed. >> i did. i didn't even bother to comb my hair. >> you're in pajamas and i'm in chanel. >> i made the right decision.

it was all fine. >> i thought you mad a change of clothes in the dressing room. i'm thinking eventually he's going to change. right? >> jimmy: you know what i did, honestly? i went right back home and went right to sleep. you should be happy i wore pra jam mas, usually i'm just in my underpants. >> i'm glad you cleaned up for us. >> jimmy: it's my pleasure. it's great to see you. congratulations. the season premiere of "scandal" airs thursday at 10pm on abc. when we come back music from alanis morissette. [ cheers and applause ] [ woman ] ring. ring.

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>> jimmy: this is her new album, it's called "havoc and bright lights", here with the song "guardian", alanis morissette! ♪ ♪ you you who has smiled when you're in pain

you who has soldiered through the profane ♪ ♪ they were distracted and shut down so why why would you talk to me at all ♪ ♪ such words were dishonorable and in vain their promise as solid as a fog ♪ ♪ and where was your watchman then i'll be your keeper for life as your guardian ♪ ♪ i'll be your warrior of care your first warden i'll be your angel on call i'll be on demand ♪ ♪ the greatest honor of all

as your guardian you you in the chaos feigning sane ♪ ♪ you who has pushed beyond what's humane them as the ghostly tumbleweed ♪ ♪ and where was your watchman then i'll be your keeper for life as your guardian ♪ ♪ i'll be your warrior of care your first warden i'll be your angel on call i'll be on demand ♪ ♪ the greatest honor of all as your guardian

now no more smiling mid crestfall ♪ ♪ no more managing unmanageables no more holding still in the hailstorm ♪ ♪ now enter your watchwoman i'll be your keeper for life as your guardian i'll be your warrior ♪ ♪ of care your first warden i'll be your angel on call i'll be on demand the greatest honor of all ♪ ♪ as your guardian >> jimmy: i want to thank

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i want to thank melanie griffith, kerry washington, pamela anderson and tristan macmanus. apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. tomorrow night keanu reeves, ginnifer goodwin and music from hot chip. the album "havoc and bright lights" is out now. playing us off the air with a cover of green day's "basket case", see the full performance at jimmykimmellive.com once again, alanis morissette! goodnight! ♪ ♪ do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything all at once ♪